Why it’s okay to talk to a deceased loved one
Is it a little unusual to have a conversation with a deceased loved one? Do many people do this? And is there any benefit from such action? What will my friends think if they find out? These questions are not uncommon in the thoughts of those mourning the death of a loved one.
In short, talking to someone who has passed away is common for many. There are a considerable number of people who pray and speak with their deceased loved ones on a regular basis. And no, it is nothing unusual as the practice has a long history. In fact, some Christian denominations believe in the doctrine of the Communion of Saints. This implies the belief that deceased loved ones in heaven can intercede with God for those on earth.
As for your friends and what they might think, I’d suggest that’s the least of all things to worry about. That is their problem, not yours. Of course, you don’t have to tell them anyway. I say all of this because I recommend that most of the people in my support groups speak with the loved one whenever they deem it necessary. Why? Because obviously it is very beneficial. Here are seven reasons why practice is helpful in dealing with transition.
1. Provides comfort in transition. For many people who speak with their deceased loved one, the action itself is comforting. They are doing something that eases the burden of accepting the fact that the loved one is not physically present.
2. It gives motivation to work to adapt to a new world. Having a real or imagined conversation with a loved one, when it comes to massive change, can provide an added boost in dealing with a difficult issue. If you think your loved one can hear you, ask for help in dealing with the problem; see what comes to mind after asking a question. If you don’t think your speech is being heard, but are simply using your imagination, then after asking a question, imagine what your loved one might say in response.
3. It is a way of showing love in separation. Talking aloud or silently with your loved one is another example of loving in separation through memory. He / she is always a thought in your heart and it may well be an important way of reminding yourself that love never dies and that you will always have a relationship even though apart. There is nothing wrong with honoring the dead every day in this way, if you wish.
4. Can be used as a wake-up ritual. Rituals, whether formal or informal, can provide an important way to set priorities or new routines in coping with loss. They are also a way of honoring the deceased. Starting the day, as many survivors do, with greetings or regards to the deceased before delving into the hustle and bustle of the day, is a hopeful way to start the day.
5. It is an effective emotional release. Many widows talk to their deceased husbands to express their feelings. This action is not only appropriate mentally and physically, but allows a freedom of expression that is not often found when interacting with others. “It makes me feel like he’s still around,” said a mourner.
6. It can build confidence. “I feel better,” said a woman after speaking with her deceased lover. Others suggest that a talk can lessen the feeling of being alone. Still others use a conversation to ask for a sign that the loved one is okay in another existence.
7. It gives peace to be able to tell a loved one when something happens. When living alone, many widows talk to a deceased loved one, especially at night when they need company. Do whatever you feel comfortable with and that gives you peace of mind, which is an important factor in assessing awareness and the use of mystery in a world immersed in “seeing is believing.”
Just because we live in a world designed to keep the spiritual and soulful on the fringes doesn’t mean that we can’t intelligently choose to talk to a deceased loved one. There is nothing strange about doing it. Obviously, it is very helpful and empowering for millions. And no one can explain how this interaction can work, and it is not necessary to have an explanation.
We know that spiritual traditions around the world suggest praying to deceased loved ones. Bestselling author Thomas Moore insightfully recalls part of his mother’s legacy: “My mother honored the dead and communicated with her ancestors constantly. She taught me this piece of practical mystical theology and I will be on her way.
Depending on your belief system, incorporate conversations with your loved one as a way to cope with your loss and reinvest in life. As a woman who was engaged to be married recently told me: “It’s been more than eight years and I’m still talking to him. [her first husband]. I tell him to go out and help our son. “This woman is as ingrained as anyone she would like to meet, and she has learned to incorporate non-physical reality into her lifestyle. You too can and live life more fully.